Miss Maple's Seeds Book Party

A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful experience of being able to help my good friend Eliza prepare for and host her very first ever book launch party.

Eliza is the kind of person who you know you will love from the moment she opens her mouth. She has this sweetness about her that fills up any room she's in, and the kindness that flows from her actions and words is unmistakably pure. She and her husband, Adam, were the ones to house Toby and me when we first arrived in Los Angeles; Eliza sacrificed her workspace to create a nook so cozy and divine that I still get homesick for it a year and a half later.

The Nook

And it was only recently that I realized just what a sacrifice giving up that workspace was for her (though she would never admit to it): for the last I-don't-even-know-how-long, she has been working on writing and illustrating her first children's book, Miss Maple's Seeds, and it is the cutest little book you ever did see.

On the day of the book party, we gathered at Eliza and Adam's adorable studio apartment with food and decorations, and spent some time together talking and putting together snack skewers.

It is during moments like that day that I sit back and try to fathom how lucky Toby and I got in the friend department here in Los Angeles. The laughter, the inside jokes, and the general camaraderie are things I never expected to find so quickly and with such abundance when we moved here, and yet here we are. Blessed.  

Bromance

After we finished up with preparations, we hauled everything downstairs and drove a few short blocks to Skylight Books, which is a fantastic bookstore on Vermont Avenue in the Los Feliz neighborhood. This bookstore has hosted some pretty big names, so I felt like a rock star for even being friends with someone who was premiering her book there. We set everything up nice and neat, and then hung out for awhile waiting for Eliza's friends and fans to arrive. 

Lovely floral decorations provided by Kelly; cupcakes provided by Jenne

Eliza had admitted to us ahead of time that she was a bit nervous to stand up in front of everyone and talk about her book, because she's not the most comfortable with public speaking, and she certainly doesn't like to talk herself up. But once she go up to the podium and started explaining where the idea for the book came from and answering questions from the audience, it seemed like her nerves melted away; she was so eloquent and you could hear in her words how much she loves what she does. And there may or may not have been a moment of shared tears when she talked about how this has always been a dream of hers, and how happy she was to see it come to fruition. 

Then she did a reading of the book for us, followed by a book signing, snack-eating, coloring, and merriment. And an added bonus: my cousin Grace's daughters came all the way up from Oceanside to see me and buy a book! You might remember them from a photo session I did with their family last year; it was so cool to be able to hang out with them and introduce them to Eliza so they could get their books signed.

This kid had his sweatshirt tied around his neck like a cape, and he sat there and worked on his drawing for SUCH a long time; when he had to leave, he asked if he could take some crayons home with him to finish up his work (we said yes, of course)

The gang, hidden away from the crowd

It was an amazing day. I was so proud to be Eliza's friend and to see the result of all her hard work, and I am incredibly excited for what's to come for her; she already has many more projects in the works. Oh, and guess what? About a week after her book party, Eliza texted us to tell us that Miss Maple's Seeds had made the New York Times best seller list! Reminder: this is her first book. And she both wrote and illustrated it. 

Rock star. 

For more information about Eliza and her work, you can visit her web site here.

For more information about Miss Maple's Seeds (and for some fun coloring and activity pages!) click here; to buy the book, click here or visit your nearest bookstore. 

Happy Wednesday!

Headshots by Ebb & Flow Photography

Hey guys, I created a little advertisement to spread the word online about the great deal I have going on for headshots right now - if you're so inclined, feel free to share it far and wide!

For more info, email me at ebbandflowphoto@gmail.com, and check out my web site.

Happy Tuesday!

Mental Ruckus: On Embracing Fear & Failure

I consider myself to be a writer. But am I, really? I don't actually spend that much time a day writing. I spend plenty of time thinking about writing - planning topics, hoarding quotes, and ruminating on ideas - but it's a rare occurrence when the words are actually formulated and ejected out of my brain. And I'm not going to beat around the bush or try to create some kind of poetic lead-up about trying to figure out why this is the case, because I already know what my problem is: fear. Fear of failure, fear or being bad at something, and fear of not knowing what I'm doing.

A few days ago, Seth Godin wrote a post on his blog that really struck home for me. It was about how we as humans tend to avoid fear by indulging in our fear of fear. He says that most of the time, we're not actually avoiding the thing we fear itself; instead we're simply trying to avoid the emotion of fear that is associated with that thing. The alternative, he says, is to dance with it. To seek out the interactions that will trigger the resistance and might make us uncomfortable. 

I had never thought about fear in that way before, as something that could be sought after. I've only ever focused on avoiding it with all my might, and in the process of avoiding it I've turned it into a monster that attacks me on the daily. But to instead acknowledge the fear, embrace it, and own it? That, my friends, is a concept worth investigating.

This blog is a creative outlet for me, but I often stifle myself with my stubborn need for perfection. Posts won't completed, and sometimes won't even be started at all, because of the "what if" factor. I have written about this so many times before, but it has still continued to plague me. And I think that's because I've been spending all of my time trying to outrun my fear instead of stopping, turning around, and taking it into my arms. What would happen if I grabbed fear, looked it in the eye, and said, "You are a part of this experience I am having. What I am doing right now might be new and unknown, and I might totally suck at it, and I might make a mistake, and I might completely fail, but that is a part of the human experience, so you're coming along for the ride, buddy"? Would my whole world fall apart? Probably not No.

Embracing the fear is a good first step, but it's not enough. Failure must also be taken into consideration. Failure is a very possible outcome of doing anything new or taking risks, so why try to avoid it? Why not embrace it along with the fear? Fear of failure itself is the greatest fear of all for many people, and therefore deserves more of a hefty bear hug than an embrace. 

I also think it's important that all of this fear and failure hugging not be kept private. We only stunt our potential and even the potential of those around us if we try to hide our shortcomings from the world. Everyone has some kind of downfall and everyone has failed and everyone is scared of something, so why not share them with each other? If we're hiding our fears, we're not truly embracing them. If we share them, we grow as human beings and are an example to others that it's okay to find growth themselves. 

A couple of weeks ago I came across the concept of the Failure Bow. The Failure Bow is a technique developed by improvisation teacher Matt Smith, and though it is mainly used among improv actors, acrobats, and athletes, I think it's super handy for anyone who has a fear of messing up in front of other people. How it works is this: instead of cringing whenever you make a mistake, raise your hands in the air, announce, "I failed", smile, and move on. By acknowledging the failure, you are taking away its power over you, and are putting the control back in your own hands. You remove the shame of failure and instead take ownership of it and allow it to be a normal part of life. 

Obviously the Failure Bow can come in many forms; you don't necessarily have to raise your hands in the air every time you mess up. You can take a written failure bow in a blog post, or take a verbal failure bow when discussing something that went wrong with a friend or colleague. The point is to not avoid it and instead acknowledge it so that it can be dealt with. And if you make the Failure Bow a habit, it can actually alter your physiological response to failure, because it removes the fear and anxiety about future failures and makes you more open to learning and trying new things. Pretty cool. 

So what does all of this mean for me as a writer and photographer? It means I am going to allow myself to go headfirst into new projects and concepts. I'm going to keep myself open to writing bad paragraphs, taking bad pictures, messing up, falling down, etc. etc. I'm going to seek the things I am afraid of and purposely take them on knowing that the only result might be failure. I'm going to take a Failure Bow when necessary, and then move on. I'm going to stop trying to hide my imperfections and instead embrace them and allow them to be seen by the world so that others can feel free to do so themselves, and we can all grow and improve as a result. I'm going to be honest about my shortcomings and fears, embrace them, and overcome them, one by one. 

At least, I'm going to try. And that's really all that matters.

Happy Monday!

Headshots // Amy & Julie

Hello friends! I have a fun announcement to make: I have decided to try my hand at headshot and portrait photography! My current nanny and personal assistant gig is coming to an end this week, and instead of letting myself stress out about potentially not having a job for awhile, I have decided instead to charge ahead and create my own job! Here in Los Angeles, there is no shortage of people who need headshots for whatever kind of career they're pursuing, and luckily I love spending time with people and taking pictures of them, so it's a perfect combination. 

I've been doing lots of free sessions to get some practice and build up my portfolio, and I'm going to start charging soon. Having gone into this knowing absolutely nothing about headshots, these sessions have been great learning experiences, and I feel like I'm already a million times better than I was even a month ago. 

I've finally started to get around to editing all of the sessions I've done, and I thought I'd share my first attempt with you today. I took these over a month ago, and in the spirit of honesty, I really struggled during this session. I've always strongly disliked not being able to be super good at something right away, so it's easy for me to get frustrated and down on myself if something isn't perfect from the get-go. I didn't even want to look at the pictures at first, because I was sure I would hate them. I couldn't seem to get the lighting or angles right, and my bad attitude was definitely not working on my favor. 

But I pushed through, and at the end of the day, I was actually very pleased with the results. I got over my self-esteem issues, and when I actually got the photos onto the computer, I liked them a lot. Being able to cull and edit my photos always gets me inspired, and it didn't hurt that I was working with two gorgeous girls who made the job even easier. 

Amy (with the curly hair) is a model and actress who is looking to build up her portfolio, and Julie is my friend Sarah's future sister-in-law who just came along for the ride and was nice enough to let me photograph her. 

All hair and makeup was once again done by my lovely friend Kelly of Kelly Martin Makeup.

And as always, you can see more of my photography here. 

If you're in Los Angeles and are looking for inexpensive, quality headshots and/or portraits in a fun and friendly environment, shoot me an email at ebbandflowphoto@gmail.com. 

Enjoy!

Baby Fever

...okay, so I should be clear: I do not have baby fever, but it has invaded my universe, and last weekend was the closest I've ever come to contracting it.

Proud mama

Toby's twin sister Addie gave birth to her first child, Carson, a few weeks ago, and Toby and I had planned a trip in advance to be able to meet him. And Oh. My. Goodness. You guys...his face! His smell! His HAIR (have I mentioned that I have a major thing for gingers?)! By the end of the weekend, I was addicted to holding him, and I was so sad when it was time for us to leave.  

Terrifying Uncle Toby

Grandma Kim

Grandma (by relation to uncle's girlfriend, so...my mom) Jerilyn

Daddy

Grandpa Mike and Great-Grandma Noreen

Uncle Vic

I'm still nowhere near ready to have kids of my own, but last weekend was an important step in my development, because this is the first time I have been an (unofficial) auntie. This baby shares genes with the man that I love. And hearing Addie talk about the experience of being pregnant and giving birth was comforting (save a few details...buh), especially when she told me that when all is said and done, it was totally worth it. And I agree, because I mean, well...just look at the result. 

Welcome to the world, Carson Bennet!