Ah, the blank text box of a new blog post. For some, incredibly inspiring. For me...a bit intimidating. And now that I have a completely new, blank blog to play with, my incessant need for perfection and epic-ness is rearing its annoying little head. I want each post to be full of little pieces of mind-blowing wisdom and insight about life...but let's be real for a minute: I'm twenty-four years young. And I still don't entirely know what I want to do with my life. And I'm clumsy and anxious and scatterbrained and imperfect in a million ways...so maybe I should just stop expecting so much of myself, and accept that the perfection will come, but it takes time (kidding).

There are a lot of reasons I've been putting off this whole blogging thing, but the biggest one is a lack of "ations". Namely: lack of inspiration. The real world has been dragging me down lately, and with it, my creativity. Has anyone else noticed that it's actually kind of hard being an adult, or am I the only one suffering from "what-the-eff-am-I-doing-now-I-see-why-every-adult-told-me-to-embrace-being-in-high-school/college" syndrome? I've already posted this on Facebook and written about it in my other blog, but this girl nails how I am feeling, illustrations and all.

In the past two years, I went from college student to summer camp counselor to study abroad-er in Costa Rica and then, abruptly, to...adult:

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I've always considered myself to be reasonably responsible and organized person, so it shouldn't be that overwhelming, but oy frickin' vey. Sometimes it's just too much. I also suffer from the occasional (see: frequent) mental breakdown, in which any motivation (once again, lacking) I might have to do anything I actually enjoy ceases to exist. I dutifully go to work every day, and end up being so exhausted from sitting at a desk for eight hours that I just come home, throw on my pajamas, and watch television shows on Hulu for the remainder of the night until I go to bed. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

But you know what? Today, the sun decided to exist again. My brain knew it even before I rolled out of bed; I could feel it shining in my joints. And as I watched it light up the buildings of downtown outside my window at work all day long, I decided that I want to exist again as well. I want to find the time to have hobbies, and to experience new things, and to rediscover my passions.

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This blog is going to document my existence. Not the complacent, zombie-girl existence that has been my reality for over a year now, but a meaningful existence that embraces all of the jubilation, revitalization, inspiration, relaxation, and invigoration that life has to offer.

Exist-ation.

Because I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd*.

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*From "Clark Gable" by The Postal Service. Great song, and one of my favorite lyrics.